Actions speak louder than words (but they are still not enough)
by SaoriK
Summary: It was perfect. But perfection doesn't exist./Like how you gravitated towards each other, without words, you drifted apart. [Akakuro] [two-shots][X-posted Ao3]
1. Kuroko

**Disclaimer**: I don't own Kuroko no Basket

* * *

**Kuroko**

People see romances in books and movies and wish they were true. It's easy to understand—from secretive smiles and knowing glances to mutual understanding and full acceptance, there is little left to desire.

You did not differ from them. The prospect of such beautiful and satisfying love-story was very tempting, especially when you were so easily forgotten.

It was a fantasy for you; a dream to be fulfilled.

And it was.

Middle school started, perhaps, not as you wanted—your promise to Ogiwara a little too far away—but soon morphed in a fairy-tale (too short-lived like any other).

Aomine came as a surprise, one that helped you hold your goal more tightly. But hopes without proof weren't lasting and despair found its way to your heart, knocking down your self-esteem.

Soon the romance came, as stories tell, to save you. Suddenly and unannounced, in the form of the vice-captain of the basketball club. Red hair and blazing eyes with a great amount of talent and pride.

You didn't know back then, that the change wouldn't be only in the basket; that the helping hand would not only bring you back to your feet but also keep itself intertwined with yours.

Akashi gave you a hint. His eyes held wonder, his smile, expectation and his words, a challenge. Should you complete it, there would be a reward.

You didn't disappoint and, as he watched your elusive form in the court, playing with the player's perception and leading the game, his eyes beamed with pride.

That was the start—you had his interest and he had your respect. After that, things escalated with no one noticing.

Of late practices, shogi boards, and bookshelves, something bloomed. Something, that was left unnamed for years of certainty of mutual awareness.

(Looking back, it wasn't that there was no need to name it, but the fear of the implications and responsibilities that came with it made it impossible to be done.)

Lingering touches away from prying eyes, tender kisses in empty club rooms, stolen glances during training and loving smiles.

It wasn't one that made a move, but both that moved so naturally, so instinctively. Both moved forward and lips met lips, fitting perfectly together like they were meant to.

A dream to come true, you thought back then.

Akashi said nothing, just like you. The unspoken words hung in the air, content with never falling from your mouths—already known by both.

Actions spoke more than words—you believed it at that time.

You believed it as Akashi would whisper your name with a sweetness that not even your vanilla milkshakes could ever accomplish. As you held hands and stood a little too close for friendship standards. As there was no doubt, only an agreement of when and where to meet. As no one questioned nor wondered why, when Akashi wasn't with Midorima, he was with you and when Aomine wasn't by your side; it was Akashi who stood there.

It was perfect.

But perfection doesn't exist.

So what wasn't said because you understood, soon turned in words you were afraid to say. What seemed silent conversations turned in hiding secrets. The happiness you never told morphed in unsaid fears and insecurities.

What you yearned for, now scared your innocent heart.

And, in the mocking silence, doubt crept and stayed. You could not tell him your worries and Akashi would never share his burden.

Like how you gravitated towards each other, without words, you drifted apart.

* * *

Now, as the cheers echoed in the stadium and the rest of Seirin celebrated their win, you make your way to him.

"Let's play again and again and again... As many times as you want."

(The road is long, but you took the first step and you hope Akashi does too.)


	2. Akashi

**Disclaimer**: I don't own Kuroko no Basket

* * *

**Akashi**

You watched the stadium explode in applause and cheers. Cheers, not for you but for Seirin. For Kuroko.

It's not the first time, you think, that Kuroko proved you wrong.

You had plans for middle school. Well-laid plans. And they were going as you expected—a small freedom that still let you appease your father; top grades; the regular shirt as well as the vice-captain title in your first year. Everything was perfect.

Then, _he _happened.

A boy so intriguing—striking light blue hair that should make him stand out anywhere, but that faded in the background and an expression so blank that still did not suppress a mix of feelings.

At that time Kuroko oozed defeat. He was giving up, but he was different and had potential, so you gave him a hint of what he could do.

(Much later he would tell you of how he would resign from the club and it's all thanks to you he still can play.)

Months passed, and you watched as he passed the ball and ran through the court, escaping everyone's eyes. You had expectations for him, but Kuroko surpassed them.

Somehow, pride swelled your heart.

From that day onward he kept doing that. He kept surprising you and giving you more than you asked for.

Not once, Kuroko failed to amaze you. (Even if it for was puking during practice and almost fainting or for picking a fight with Murasakibara, the tallest and strongest of them, because working hard is good and you shouldn't be demeaning them.)

That, however, never frustrated you. Not when he reserved you smiles brighter than anything, with more feeling than you could name and more depth you could imagine.

Kuroko messed your plans for Teiko, but you welcomed this unexpected with shared kisses and touches (you wouldn't be an Akashi if you couldn't deal with changes). So, you adapted and, in your scarce free time, meetings in the library, in empty classrooms and even in the clubroom happened.

It was a happiness and a warmth you haven't felt in years. It was the hope of a little more time together, the yearning of affection and the satisfaction of knowing the truth.

A truth never said aloud but very much obvious with how you two acted (your favoritism sometimes showing during practices). Still, you wondered... should you say something? Should you do something else? You did not know the answers because for so long—since your mother's death—emotions were an unknown field for you, as there was no one to help you understand them.

(Had your mother still alive would she be able to save you from yourself? Would she help and guide you through the... thing between you and Kuroko?

You believe, yes, she would.)

Those questions would come from time to time, but as always you would ignore them. You were perfect; there was no doubt you were doing the right thing.

(Besides, Kuroko never said anything either, so you supposed you didn't have to.)

Now, you understand that, perhaps, you should've said something, anything. Because all went down when the others started to bloom and you fell behind.

There was a deep rotted fear in you of not being enough, of not being perfect and being left behind. You were scared and confused; you felt alone and unneeded.

Instead of talking to Kuroko (he would listen to you and reassure you; he would be there for you), you acted.

Leave them before they leave you.

Hold them with an iron fist and not let them rebel.

Kill your emotions before they destroy you.

A mistake, really.

You destroyed and hurt the one who stayed by your side, who loved you. You lost Kuroko and pretended not to care.

(You cared, though. Too much, even. And more than once you woke up in tears, only to brush them off and lie to yourself.)

None of this was in your plans but you pretend it was, because you couldn't be wrong—you were perfect.

But you aren't and now you see it.

Kuroko is smiling and his hands are hot against yours and you know you missed this feeling. This time, it's him who gives you hope and not the other way around.

And this time, you know what to do.

* * *

Kuroko is already waiting for you in the stairs, the same one where you called the Generation of Miracles.

Somehow, even after everything you've been through there still exists the silent understanding.

You call his name—his surname—and he greets you, polite as ever. Side by side the two of you say nothing, watching people go.

As your heart beats faster and faster like you're still playing, you decide to talk before your courage vanishes.

"I love you."

"I know," he answers without missing a beat. "Akashi-kun is a dear friend of mine."

Somehow those words soothe your heart.

"You too, Kuroko, are a very important friend to me." You smile—a little and fragile twist of lips—and turn to face him. "We could be more."

Kuroko stares you and a heat burns your cheeks but not once you break the eye contact.

"It's gonna be a hard path."

"It will be worth it." You stop and then correct yourself, "It _is_ worth it."

Kuroko hums in agreement, "It was worth it, too."

"I'm sorry." It's not enough, you know. It won't change what happened, but it's the least you could do.

He cups your face, coming closer, and smiles.

"We will make it work."

There was no kiss. Not yet. The memory was still fresh and it hurt. Kuroko hadn't forgiven you yet, but there was a chance and you were willing to earn it. You will give it time to heal so you can try again. So you can learn how to love again.

This time you won't stay silent.


End file.
